Previous England captain Lewis Moody has announced he has been diagnosed with motor neurone disease and acknowledged he cannot yet face the full consequences of the muscle-degenerating condition that claimed the lives of other rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The 47-year-old, who was a member of the 2003 championship side and won numerous English and European titles with Leicester, gave an interview to BBC Breakfast two weeks after finding out he has the condition.
"There's something about facing the future and not wanting to really process that at the present time," he said.
"It isn't that I don't understand where it's progressing. We understand that. But there is definitely a reluctance to look the future in the face for now."
Moody, conversing with his wife Annie, states conversely he feels "at ease" as he focuses on his immediate welfare, his family and getting ready for when the disease worsens.
"Maybe that's surprise or possibly I process things uniquely, and when I have the details, it's easier," he added.
Early Symptoms
Moody found out he had MND after detecting some weakness in his shoulder while training in the gym.
After physical therapy didn't help the issue, a number of scans revealed neural pathways in his brain and spinal cord had been compromised by MND.
"You're presented with this condition identification of MND and we're rightly extremely emotional about it, but it's rather peculiar because I feel like nothing's wrong," he remarked.
"I don't feel unwell. I don't sense poorly
"My symptoms are quite slight. I have a bit of muscle wasting in the hand and the shoulder.
"I remain capable of accomplishing anything and everything. And hopefully that will continue for as long as is possible."
Condition Advancement
MND can develop swiftly.
As per the non-profit MND Association, the disease takes the lives of a 33% of people within a twelve months and above half within two years of diagnosis, as eating and inhalation become more difficult.
Treatment can only slow decline.
"It isn't ever me that I experience sorrow for," added an affected Moody.
"It's about the grief around having to break the news to my mum - as an single child - and the ramifications that has for her."
Personal Consequences
Conversing from the family home with his wife and their family dog by his side, Moody was overwhelmed by emotion when he spoke about breaking the news to his sons - 17-year-old Dylan and adolescent Ethan - the devastating news, saying: "It was the toughest thing I've ever had to do."
"These are two excellent boys and that was rather devastating," Moody said.
"We sat on the couch in tears, Ethan and Dylan both hugging in each other, then the dog leapt across and began licking the tears off our faces, which was somewhat funny."
Moody said the focus was being in the present.
"There exists no solution and that is why you have to be very militantly concentrated on just accepting and appreciating each moment now," he commented.
"As my wife mentioned, we've been truly lucky that the only real determination I made when I retired from playing was to allocate as much duration with the kids as attainable. We don't get those years back."
Athlete Connection
Professional athletes are excessively influenced by MND, with research proposing the prevalence of the disease is up to 600% higher than in the broader public.
It is thought that by restricting the O2 accessible and causing harm to motor neurone cells, frequent, vigorous physical activity can activate the disease in those inherently predisposed.
Sports Career
Moody, who gained 71 England appearances and traveled with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was nicknamed 'Mad Dog' during his professional days, in recognition of his fearless, relentless style to the game.
He participated through a stress fracture of his leg for a duration with Leicester and once sparked a workout confrontation with fellow player and friend Martin Johnson when, irritated, he discarded a training equipment and commenced participating in tackles.
After coming on as a substitute in the Rugby World Cup final win over Australia in 2003, he claimed a ball at the end of the throw-in in the critical phase of play, establishing a base for half-back Matt Dawson to attack and Jonny Wilkinson to kick the game-deciding drop-goal.
Assistance Network
Moody has already informed Johnson, who captained England to that victory, and a few other former team-mates about his condition, but the others will be finding out his news with the broader public.
"There will be a time when we'll need to lean on their support but, at the present, just having that sort of love and recognition that people are available is the crucial thing," he stated.
"This game is such a wonderful community.
"I told to the kids the other day, I've had an incredible life.
"Even if it finished now, I've valued all of it and welcomed all of it and got to do it with remarkable people.
"When you have the opportunity to consider your enthusiasm your profession, it's one of the greatest privileges.
"To have done it for so extended a time with the teams that I did it with was a pleasure. And I know they will want to help in whatever way they can and I await having those discussions."
